The Chronicles of Cross Sex Friendship

Let’s face it being friends with someone of the opposite sex has never been that easy. Starting from an early age there always has been a few boundaries limiting the type of friendship you can have with some of the opposite sex.

Ladies remember back in primary where having male friends led to you being labeled as a ‘tomboy’?  Or if you were a guy who hung around too many female friends then automatically you were considered a ‘sissy’.

On the other hand though, some guys may agree with me when I say the stigma, however, grew a different direction in high school, where the guy with the most female friends was seen as the coolest guy and one that had it all in terms of style.

Come to think of it, at this very moment, I know a number of guys reading through this and already thinking of that one beauty back in high school that wouldn’t talk to anyone but you and for that you were branded the kingpin or Casanova. Well, nothing is different to the opposite sex if you ask me.

Ladies remember that fine-looking guy in high school that all the girls went gaga about? Luckily you happened to be the fortunate one he was talking to and familiar with. This must be bringing back decent memories. Only decent of course, despite the fact that you had to find out from your friends that he only talked to you because he lived a few houses from your home and not that you meant anything special to him.

Truth hurts doesn’t it? Let’s fast forward everything to the present day. Life in college, new friends, and not forgetting everyone is all grown-up and matured. Nevertheless, I admit, growing up is as difficult as having someone of the opposite sex being your platonic friend.

Second year Accounting student, Xongile Baloyi confirms, “Sometimes you are stuck in a situation where your friend wants more than just friendship. Even if you made it clear from the beginning that you are not interested in pursuing a relationship with them”.

Apart from the already mentioned reasons why being friends with someone of the opposite sex can be difficult at times. Occasionally you are stuck with explaining to your same sex friends that between you and your ‘friend’ it’s just friendship and nothing else. ‘No, we are not having sex we are just good friends’ this must be a common phrase by now. Even then, in most circumstances your answers do not do much to change your friends’ conviction that between you and your ‘friend’ it is just friendship and there is no sex involved.

As if that weren’t enough burdens for being friends with someone of the opposite sex. Adding salt to the wound, time and again there is a possibility of growing feelings that you keep brushing off but no matter how hard you try to convince yourself that the feelings mean nothing, the more the feelings hold you hostage. Sadly, you can’t pursue a relationship with your ‘friend’ because you already know who they are dating. More damaging, you think of all the times where once in your life you’ve had to encourage your ‘friend’ to love their partner and be as faithful as they could. Well, that’s half the drawbacks of being friends with someone of the opposite sex. Next on the list is none other than the notion of drawing a line between the two of you. Mind you, according to (http://www.snopes.com/science/stats/thinksex.asp) men think of sex for every 7 seconds of a minute (Gibberish if you ask me).

Just when you thought you’ve mastered the notion of having to draw a line between you two, it gets worse. How do you introduce your ‘friend’ to your partner? Do you even introduce them? And if yes how do you go about that? “Hi love, meet Tebelo he’s my new friend”. As a guy, how do you respond? “Hi Tebelo, good to meet you been hearing a lot of ‘good’ things about you.” Nonsense, isn’t? Well, I know less about how ladies feel about it but I can only imagine.

So next time your ‘friend’ starts to distance themselves from you, just know it might be because of one the discussed reasons.